#StandUnaffected

by: Kolleen Lucariello

Ready: words strapped to a flaming arrow. Aim: target in sight, the string pulled taut, and Fire: a clean release. The arrow sliced through the air, striking with speed and precision. The words landed with such force, the sting burned as they pierced my heart—accusations and mischaracterizations. Unexpected. And, in my estimation, unwarranted. I had been wronged.

It was a timely test. After all, Chrissy and I had spent a fair amount of time in conversation around the topic of justice. Specifically, the difference between punitive justice, which is our way: someone must pay for their crime; and restorative justice, which is God's way. Jesus, himself, demonstrates to us God's restorative justice through his life of mercy, forgiveness and healing.

I felt challenged to consider the concept on a personal level after experiencing what I perceived were wrongs against me.

What is it you want, Kolleen? The question probed.

Well, an apology would be nice.

A bit of groveling would be better.

An admission of guilt would be fantastic.

Vindication would be ideal.

So you are seeking restitution—a payment for the wrong. You want them to pay for what they did. Or perhaps you seek retribution—an opportunity to respond with revenge. Hmmm, is that what I said? Not in those words exactly, but that’s what your heart is revealing. Ouch. That’s really not the way of Jesus, is it?

Does it feel as unnatural to you as it does to me to resist punishing those who have wronged us? In moments of injustice, unfairness, or undeserved mistreatment, what tactics do you feel justified using to vindicate yourself? When someone causes immense suffering in our lives, how do we resist the urge to wish the same upon them—or to smirk when they "get what’s coming to them?" As Chrissy and I pondered this, we discovered the answer can be seen when we follow Jesus down the path of restorative justice.

Even though Jesus lived under the brutality of the Roman Empire, He consistently taught about the kingdom of God. He instructed His followers to pray, "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:10, TLV). Jesus never sought to merge the ways of the Roman Empire with God's kingdom. His desire was for a kingdom built solely on God's principles and promises to come here—on earth.

In Christ, we receive a new nature rooted in kingdom identity. God's intention is that we become secure in this identity so we can #Stand and #Occupy effectively when we encounter injustice, unfairness, or undeserved mistreatment. When we truly know who we are—and Whose we are—we can #StandUnaffected, free from the need for restitution or revenge.

The fact that Jesus never demanded retribution compels me to release my own need for it. (And believe me, this doesn't feel natural!) God will always call us to partner with Him and help restore others to Christ, by leading them to Jesus. He will ask us to guard our heart from becoming hardened or influenced by the wrongs done to us, so the wrongdoer can be reconciled to Jesus. Who wins when our heart becomes hard because its become infected by the need for retribution or revenge?

To stand unaffected means we walk in freedom—free from affectation. Which, according to Merriam-Webster, is “speech or conduct not natural to oneself: an unnatural form of behavior meant especially to impress others; the act of taking on or displaying an attitude or mode of behavior not natural to oneself or not genuinely felt.” When we stand unaffected, we are free to respond authentically from the identity we have in Christ. Rather than react from a place of woundedness or self-justification, we are able to offer mercy, forgiveness and healing to the offender—just like Jesus.

This requires us to submit ourselves to the affectation of kingdom principles—something that feels unnatural to our human nature. The difference lies in why we do it. We are not here to impress others but to bring glory to God, putting Him on display through attitudes and behaviors that reflect our true kingdom identity. Our response to the wounds of injustice will always reveal which nature we are representing: natural or kingdom.

At the moment of impact—when the sting of injury from that arrow seared my heart—God reminded me that I had a choice. I could allow the words of another to shape my identity and strike back, or I could pause, pray, and seek Him for clarity, asking Him to lead me to His truth. Am I? Did I? Revenge will prolong the hurt.Restorative justice partners with God to put things back together as He intended. And if He assures us that "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1), then it's time for His daughters to #StandUnaffected by what is broken—allowing Him to heal not only ourselves, but others, too.

"They [may] sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows" (Psalm 64:3, NLT), but that doesn't mean we let them penetrate.

We invite you to join our conversation this month at a chapter near you. Find a chapter here.